Monday, 27 October 2014

Crash & burn

I was hoping, praying, that this wouldn't happen again.

That I wouldn't suffer the same fate I did after J was born.

I've been hiding, trying to fight it myself for weeks now.

Nearing breaking point.

Today I snapped.

I reached it.

I don't know what triggered it, it just happened.

From nowhere.

I decided that life would be better off without me.

My children, my husband, my family.

Selfish. I know I'm selfish.

But this illness, this horrible, debilitating, illness. Now that, that is even more selfish.

It doesn't care.

It can control me.

But I couldn't control it.

I care. I care about my family.

They care about me.

But sometimes, I think they won't.

I am selfish for not caring about what happens to me.

And it makes me sad.

I looked at my children, and felt physical pain. Sadness.

My husband had to come home from work.

I slept.

I woke.

I didn't want to.

I wanted the pain to just go away.

Emotional pain, that hurts just as much as physical pain.

It was a cry for help.

Which I should have seeked sooner, rather than fighting.

I can only be strong for so long.

I'm getting help.

With help, I will fight.

You will not beat me.

I will win.

Review - October SassyBloom box

For a while now I have been lusting over a SassyBloom box as every box that I've seen contained fantastic items no matter the age of the baby/toddler it was sent to. So I was ecstatic when I was given the chance to review a box of my own - well, for N really but for me to open - I love surprises through the mail rather than the usual everyday post!


SassyBloom boxes are suitable for the 3rd trimester of pregnancy and up until your child turns two years old. To get your box personalised as close as possible to your baby, all you need to let SassyBloom know is baby's name (for personalised items), date of birth, and gender. Your box will then be handpicked and can be delivered as soon as the next day. The minimum RRP value of each SassyBloom box will be at least £40, with the cost of buying it being £29 (though buying a longer membership means the boxes become cheaper).

The box itself is great quality, being thick and with the SassyBloom logo and 'hand picked happiness' printed on it - every word is true! The ribbon on the box was a lovely touch too.

So what did we get in our October SassyBloom box?

 Plush Giant Caterpillar - RRP £9.00
As you can see from the vlog, this received N's seal of approval straight away. It's bright, crinkly, rattly & squishy so stimulates the senses, and it also has a teether on it for chomping on. It's also lovely & soft, more so than any other item like this that we've owned. 

Nuby Grip and Sip - RRP £2.99
We've been meaning to buy N a cup so this was a great addition. We love Nuby items anyway so I knew this was going to be good. The handles are great for him to grip, whilst the teat/valve is non spill - I tested this by shaking about it and lo & behold it didn't leak. Though N still prefers chewing it at the moment!

Baby Dan Fingersafe - RRP £2.99
I posted recently that I needed to baby proof again now that N is on the move, so this was a welcome addition. These catches are basically a one piece item that slips onto the door - easy as that. It can go at the top or on the side - we've put it at the top so J can't take it off! There are two in the pack so just under £1.50 each, but that's just a number when it means your baby's safety.

Organix Multigrain Mini Cereal Puffs - RRP £0.80
N has been enjoying these before our SassyBloom box arrived so I knew he was going to love them. Even if he hadn't already tried them, we've had Organix products before so we know the quality of them and trust the brand. Though as N is a piglet, he ate this whole pack in one sitting!

Babycup - RRP £6.66
I'd never seen these before opening our box, but as you can see they have won awards. These will be really handy for N when he is a bit steadier with his hands and not shaking everything about, but for now they are good for holding smaller pieces of fruit such as blueberries. I'm sure we can use them for J to drink out of at the moment, too. They are great quality, thick enough for little hands not to break but thin enough that they are easy to drink from.

Sock Ons - RRP £6.00
We actually had some of these for J but I don't know what happened to them (I'm thinking they probably got lost when we moved). N's socks are constantly coming off his feet now he's all over the place so they are coming in handy, especially now it's colder weather and we don't want him having cold feet! They do stay in place and keep socks on. The only thing is, when he's wearing them they look like they dig in a bit, but I think that's probably because he has fat & wide feet like his brother and Mummy!

Munchkin Wonder Waterway - RRP £5.99
We have a few Munchkin bath products so we do love them already, but we hadn't seen this one before. With Munchkin though, you know that their bath toys are always going to be bright, engaging & fun. This waterway has three separate sections, with beads, a spinner wheel, and spiral slide (the bottom two sections can be interchanged too, or they can all be used on their own). Both of the boys love this, N loves watching the spinner as the water goes through. 

Gumigem Pendant - RRP £12.95
I already own a Gumigem pendant and love it so I was excited to see this one as I have eyed up this design recently. The Gumigem is lovely & chewy for baby's gums, and with it being a long cord it is easy for baby to reach, as well as being safe at high temperatures so you are able to sterilise it. It also has a breakaway clasp in case baby pulls too hard. N is really teething at the moment so this is great for him, and it means I can still wear jewellery too!

Total cost of box - £47.38

So as you can see, everything we received was definitely suitable for us and quite a way over the price of the box and over the £40 minimum value. This was one of the most exciting deliveries I have had for ages and I would love one to arrive every month (if we had the disposable budget then there would be!). These boxes would be simply perfect for a baby shower or new baby gift.

Our reaction to the October SassyBloom box!

If you fancy giving SassyBloom a go, then I can offer you £10 off your first box if you use the code BLG-GUIL.

Our rating - 5/5

Disclosure
We received this product free of charge to review but all thoughts & opinions are honest & our own.
We're going on an adventure

Sunday, 26 October 2014

A to Z of Family - L is for Learning

Learning. Every day, we are learning. We encourage ourselves to learn, we encourage our children to learn.

Being a parent is a journey full of learning. Even before you become a parent, you go to classes to learn how to be a parent - but can you really learn something that is supposed to come naturally? There is no 'one book fits all' in the world of parenting.

Nearly three years on, I am still learning, every day. I am learning that being a parent of a toddler is hard, damn hard.

But then, being a toddler must be hard too. Frustrating. In that land of between where you know what you want, but need to learn how to express it properly, to get the adults to understand you.

We have to learn how to compromise with each other, to not get frustrated with each other (maybe only with ourselves!).

Children have so much to learn in just a few short years, to prepare for their older years ahead of them. They have to learn how to become independent, how to communicate, how to count; the learning is endless.

Though as adults, as well as still learning, we become teachers too. Teaching our children these lessons for life. We need to be patient. We were at that stage once. And we would have been the same.

My boys are learning every day, and I'm teaching them.


A to Z of Family

Family Friday

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Project 365 - Week 43 (days 292 - 298)

October 19th / Day 292
This boy really loves his food - he has a good grip on that banana!

October 20th / Day 293
We've been going to a course called 'Fit 2 Grow' and for part of it there is soft play (of which we go to independent sessions too - not your bog standard soft play, it's stuff that is hired out but she runs individual sessions) and J always has to jump from the edge of the ball pool!

October 21st / Day 294
We haven't had lasagne for ages so decided to have it for our messy meal night (bath night), though my cheese sauce always goes wrong.

October 22nd / Day 295
N is full of cold but still has a smile. He was sporting Oh Baby London and The Little Geekery Company today.

October 23rd / Day 296
Rubbish photo as he doesn't sit still any more but after rocking and pulling himself on his tummy for a while, he finally did a proper crawl!

October 24th / Day 297
One of many deliveries of  rainbow/bonfire theme Naming Day supplies!

October 25th / Day 298
Baby Shrek! Trying on part of his Uncle's Halloween fancy dress outfit!

TheBoyandMe's 365 Linky
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